2020 has been a hell of a journey for everyone I guess. Due to this pandemic and all kind of stuffs, I'm sure everyone is going insane but some of us managed to control it very well maybe. Every since miss corona came, my life as a student has been a disaster because I had to do an online learning with all my friends and it's really nonsense because I keep on having a bad internet connection, not understanding what did the lecturer taught in class, miscommunications with the group mates and many more. But eventually, I managed to survive and got myself a dean list for the past semester. YEAYY! And now, I'm trying to survive my current semester. Please pray for me okay?!!!
Okay enough about educations part. Now, I want to share something about my nonsense thoughts. People always said that during this pandemic, we can see who is our real friends and enemies. I used to think it is something nonsense until it really happened to me. Some of my friends has become a stranger to me because of money. I know it has been a really difficult time for all of us now especially when it comes to money problem. But I'm a student and I don't have enough money even for myself. But this one friend does not understand it and she decided to spread bad rumor about me and I had a breakdown for a while and then boomm! I survived, bitchesss!!!
I once begged someone for an explanation why he left me. I have no motivations at all to do anything for 2 weeks straight and I lost my weight so badly and I feel like I was insane the whole time. And now, thinking about it still hurts me because the pain that I had to go through was really shitty and stupid. The reason that make me get back on track after 2 weeks of stupidity was because I keep on telling myself that I have been through much worst phase and I survived. So, I can survive this nonsense too. And booomm! Assalamualaikum bitches! I did it again!
Ever since it happened, I stop asking people, why. I have become heartless. Takda lah heartless sangat but bila orang macam nak pergi dari hidup ni, aku malas dah nak tanya kenapa, apa salah aku buat sampai dia nak pergi tinggalkan aku. Faham tak bila someone yang paling kau sayang tinggalkan kau untuk someone yang dia sendiri cakap cuma kawan? After all those years I trusted him but end up he is with that person right after he left me.
People, for this upcoming 2021 please try to focus on yourself first. Ignore all the shitty things that people said or have done to you because they are showing you that you are nothing for them and they are okay even if they lost you one day. Make yourself happy. For once, stop trying to understand why people do shits to you and start to understand that you need to accept the fact that the person is an asshole and they are not worth it. It is okay to have a breakdown for a while. But please don't make it too long till you neglect yourself. You are worth it and you deserve so much more! Your will pass the difficulty. You will survive. You will be happy. Don't worry, okay?!!
Okay that is all for now. Thank you for your time. Have a nice day people!
Assalamualaikum! :)
WMW - 14/12/2020 - 7:52AM